Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
