thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
