So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
