Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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