how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Randomize
