I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
