take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
