So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
