Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
