Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
