WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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