i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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