i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
