Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
