my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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