shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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