I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
