Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
