you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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