someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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