Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
