I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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