Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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