similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize