Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
