I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize