I'm gonna have a badass scar
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
