Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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