Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
