dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
