I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
