there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
