tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
