If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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