i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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