Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
