we're blogging at a bar
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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