Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
