i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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