Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
