so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize