You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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