??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
