when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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