So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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