i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
