My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
