i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Your cock deserves a montage
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
