I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
