Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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