My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
