just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
