I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Drake has all the answers
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
