Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
