I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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