so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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