I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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