State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
