you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize