I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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