She's JV to your varsity
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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