doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
