were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
