But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
