ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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